What if

Big Sur Aug 2009 091

What if no one’s judging you?

What if God isn’t disappointed in you?

What if who you are in all your laziness and sloth, in your confusion and depression… what if that was OK?

For as long as it needs to be. For your entire life if necessary.

What if you are divinely loved even if you aren’t generous and kind to others?

What if you fail over and over again… what if you never seem to get it right?

What if your carefully prepared delivery falls flat and you don’t get the job?

What if Love has your back no matter what?


Word prompt: Delivery

Oh Kali

Kali is destroying old boundaries

Healing comes from letting there be room for all of “this” to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.   – Pema Chodron


I am not walking away from myself today

Instead I sit and choose to burn

Anger rains down on me, ruby red coals

My heart expands in the bittersweet embrace of Kali

Memories collide and tangle, the pain expands

But I am finding myself in these flames

I am holding my heart as it bleeds

I am finding the mother the father the community the best friend I’ve never had

Here

Photo Alice Popkorn

The Daily Prompt: Angry

Nadia’s Test

fearful thoughts

“Do you understand?”

“I do.”

“The poison you drink will hurt.”

“I am aware.”

“You won’t be the same, you won’t be …”

“Just give it to me. I cannot continue to live as I am.”

“Remember, a mere sip will do, death is not our objective.”

“Death is my only option now. What else is there?”

“Transformation, Nadia. Which will you choose?”

Photo Alice Popkorn

The Daily Post: Grain

 

The Rooster Files and the Meaning of Life

CHUCK

“So you’re telling me this is just a phase?”

“Oh, it’s a phase. It’s totally a phase.”

“But it feels so permanent… this whole being human thing. I mean, until we die. It feels hella real. And I haven’t accomplished a damn thing, you know that, right? It’s embarrassing, really. Heartbreaking.”

“Oh, god, you really believe that matters! Hold on, I have to wipe my eyes.

“So not to be insensitive, but how long do you really think you have on earth? At the outside, say 90 years or thereabouts? Would you even want to be around longer? Never mind, not relevant. Bottom line, you are literally the twitch of a blink of a cosmic eye. There’s only one reason you’re here and everything else is filler. You can judge that filler as good or bad. Accomplished or tragic. But Life isn’t judging you and there is no prize for Best Human. Shit. As if.”

“You make sense, but you’re a rooster so really, I’m probably just talking to myself.”

“If that makes you feel better. I am a rooster, true. But wise as the stars, my friend. Wise as the… But hey, you believe concepts that make no damn sense anyway. Am I just a rooster? Appearances can be deceiving.”

“I’m so lost… Wait. What’s the one thing I’m here for then? Was that rooster speak or do you really know?”

“Being lost is fantastic. Great place to be. When you question everything you enter into freedom. And the one thing? Remember City Slickers?”

“The movie? Where Curly holds up a finger? That’s the one thing?!”

“Ok, corny, but yeah, that’s where I was going except… and here’s a hint… the one thing has nothing to do with accomplishment. He, he… NOTHING to do with it.”

“So find my one thing…”

“Except that it’s not a thing, right? It’s more a state, a north star. Makes sense?  Just don’t compare your one thing to someone else’s.”

“Because I rock, I talk to roosters, and to hell with living up to expectations. That about it?”

“Now you’re getting it! Fly high my dear and don’t be afraid to crow with the sun. It feels good to make a little noise.”

Daily prompt Phase

Photo by Alice Popkorn

Wake Up

arrive

It’s not that dreams are bad, they’re just not real. Not nearly as amazing as waking up.

On the one hand you have the familiar: your deep unhappiness, your pain, your familiar burdens. You’re mostly ok with that because you have dreams. Dreams of Better, More, Different, Improved.

And when you’re used to living small, you need dreams. I did. I do. But there comes a point when you need to choose the red pill. Or is it the blue one?

You choose to wake up and let your blankie go… you embrace your pain and your hurt. You don’t imagine a better future. You find your peace, your Self, in the present. Right where you’ve always been.

And maybe this time you’re able to face that like a warrior, like someone who remembers we’re not given more than we can handle. As long as you have you, is it (any of it) really so bad? Remember yourself? That sweet, amazing person who has been longing for your attention, possibly for years? Yeah. She’s right there. She has some things to say. And it has nothing to do with future achievement.

 

Photo: Alice Popkorn

Word prompt: Dream

The Curly Tailed Beast

Monsters don’t jump out of closets, they clack across old linoleum with big eyes and lolling tongues. They act on impulse, quirk their heads when confused, and jump at the scent of food. Believe me, they have an agenda. Don’t let their outward cuteness sway you – I made that mistake once and pay for it every day. You may very well ask how I live with it.

I won’t bore you with the saga of sharing a small apartment with a pug. Better to ask how clouds form rain. Why E = MC2.  You don’t want to hear about their snoring. Their incessant need to lick everything in sight. The food addiction, the obscene shedding. Life is too short to talk about their half goat/ half pig genetics. These are horrors that would haunt your dreams.

Just beware of these beasts if you ever come across them. Their eyes will mesmerize you as they reach into your very soul…  you will find yourself reaching out to touch them. My friend, at that point you will be lost and all hope gone. Go to your closet, throw out all your dark clothes and prepare for a new life. Some say their devotion is worth the trade-off. Their love a balm to life’s misfortunes. But I say there is nothing so terrifying as a hungry pug. And just because I *must* kiss my own every day does not mean I have succumbed to his charms. I mean look at that face! He’s so cute annoying. You are warned!

Saga