A Gab with the Buddha

Buddha sat crossed legged on a grass mat. “Ok, sister, let me have it.”

I picked at a corner of my thumb nail I thought… the problem was that I had so many questions I didn’t know where to start. “I’m not Buddhist, you know…”

“Yeah,” he smiled softly. “I get that. Try not to get caught up in labels. Just let it fly, don’t think about it first.”

I mentally reviewed how I managed to be here, sitting in front of Siddhartha… One minute I was rubbing a laughing Buddha belly at the counter of the Natural Foods Cafe, and the next, I found myself in this ethereal forest breathing Nag Champa incense.

Strangely accepting of this surreal moment I leaned forward. “Can you foresee the future? Or are just going to tell me to look within? Because I’ve tried that. There’s not a lot there.”

“So you think there’s a within… and a without?”

I blinked.  “Isn’t there?”

He smiled.  “I can see the future sometimes… but to be specific, I can definitely see your future now. And here’s the fortune in your fortune cookie: You’re going to live a long life.”

I cringed. The suckage that was my existence stretched into a distant future. This wasn’t exactly good news.

Narrowing his eyes, he continued. “Yeah, a long life. Along the way you’re going to be surprised by yourself. You’ll make some bad choices, some elegant choices, and then you’ll come to a ‘big decision.’ I’m not talking about something like should you take a new job or stay where you are, growing your 401k. I’m talking about life. And death. Bliss.” He settled deeper into himself, closing his eyes. “You’re going to decide if you’ll become … me. And that decision will come up again and again until it gets answered.”

The incense started to burn my eyes. A vibration started at the base of my spine like the singing of a Tibetan bowl. Time was almost up.

Suddenly the light around me grew brighter and brighter. I could barely see Buddha’s outline as I became engulfed in golden flame. “Om mani padme hum, sister.” He opened one eye and winked. “Just remember… being the Buddha is no excuse to let loose on the donuts. A big belly is optional. And one more thing… I believe in you.”

The buzzing sensation grew louder, until I couldn’t think. As quick as a snap, I was back at the cafe. “Well, miss, have you decided yet?” I looked at the cashier, my eyes wide. “Yes.”

Questions…

water nymphe

Can there be anything sweeter than the kiss of a mind gone mad?
What magisty of noise and purpose!
Do you think God loves the crazies?

Those folks with hearts bigger than Texas and minds that have no idea what to do with them?
What about our bodies?
Do they forgive us our overindulgence, our stuffing down of pain?

Vows of suffering and poverty…
What place do they play in the soul’s evolution?
Can we chose again this lifetime?

Will we burn in hell?
Oh, those shackles of thought
…No story ever told is true


“Shackles” prompt courtesy of OSI

Photo courtesy of Alice Popkorn

Gratia

Red M&Ms when I want blue
Questions and pleadings to beings more enlightened than I

All so hollow

And then
A flash, an internal answer

What if some dreams (maybe even your biggest) weren’t meant to come true?

What if you were given a reason?
…And it had nothing to do with being unworthy, or being punished for the past, or that you have karma to work out

What if grace was leading you to better dreams…

Would it make a difference?

Like chain smoking, misery is a hard addiction to break.
How do I define my life without the push and the pull?

Today I received an angelic communiqué.  Yes, I’ll just come out and say it…

Grace blew me away

Angel photo by LocalTravelPhotos
The prompt “Hollow” courtesy of the ever wonderful OSI

Quagmire

She felt her thighs quiver

Pushing against her middle an “Oh hoo hoo” escaped before she could stop it.

The Pillsbury Doughboy always had the last word.

And though she’d love to spend every last cent on fashion

She paused.

The quagmire was this:

Glossy images or better health?  Shoes or self-realization?

Biting her nails, feeling her heart skitter like Chie Mihara heels against a hardwood floor,

She made her decision and closed the laptop.

Was it thunder she heard in the background or perhaps, just maybe,

Her integrity?

(Thanks to OSI for the writing prompt, quagmire.)
(photo by SashaW)

Abundance

 

She looked at me with chocolate brown eyes and named me but I didn’t understand.  I couldn’t take it in… Bowing, I left and hugged the little scrap of paper to my heart.  Kamalam. 

This week’s OSI prompt, abundance, takes on personal meaning.  I can only describe abundance as a felt experience of love and wonder from my teacher, Amma.

(Thanks to Bahman Farzad for this photo.)

Friday Night

 

Hugin´s friends

Can I bear the pain of pain?

Can I simply
stay
allow
bend
burn
heal

Numbness – yet another dancing partner
Stepping on my toes, whispering sweet nothings

Empty things
Things on black wings
Smelling of
Cold sweat
And turpentine

Devi, your alter ego is devouring me

The feast is lasting long into the night

The Dark Mother has me in her grip

I am seduced

(photo by Alice Popkorn)